I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Randomize