Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
