I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
