I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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