I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
His nipple licking is glorious
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