did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
