I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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