careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
do nipples grow back?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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