As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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