he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
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Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
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I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
He did a backflip because drugs
You did what with his pubic hair?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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