Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
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