He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize