I'm really into asian looking animals
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
