Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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