I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
