I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
