You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
So vagazzling was a success
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
