I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
how drunk are you?
Several
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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