They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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