is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
