its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
