being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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