Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize