he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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