oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
