it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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