Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
