somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
