Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
