I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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