After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
