she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
