im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
