all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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