Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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