and i looked up. we had an audience...
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
