No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
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