I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
