I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
