I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Just invented taco cereal.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
