Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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