Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
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I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
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And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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