She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
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We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
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This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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