I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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