So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
