She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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