i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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