Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
