she looked like the before picture.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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