Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize