so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
