we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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