What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
