I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
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Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
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You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
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