Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize