Farmville is her only friend.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Randomize