I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
