I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You need Xanax blowdarts
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
