but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
