Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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