tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize