I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I need a burrito and a hug.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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